||Day Seventy||
As of lately I have noticed a lot of people my age, or younger, or older, getting engaged. I have nothing against people getting engaged, or even married, young. Frankly, it's none of my business. If you feel secure, comfortable, and feel as though you have an understanding of who you are as a person, as well as who you partner is as a person, then who's to say anything against your decision to be together.
And as much as the girly-side of me wants to get engaged, plan a wedding, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. A large part of me also feels the need to slow down. I want to travel. I want to buy my own apartment and pay for my own bills (crazy, I know, but it's the independence thing I'm going for). I want to get a dog and spoil it like crazy. I want to find a job that I love. I want to learn who I am and define myself. I want to make great accomplishments -- my own accomplishments.
A bloom from a tree that I passed on my run, and then again when I walked my dogs.
Recently, for example, I have decided to start trying to run again. I hate running. I hate it so much. But I'm trying to better myself and become more confident in my skin. So I told myself to suck it up, lace up my running shoes, and just bear through it. Today was Day 2 of running. It was not fun (according to my boyfriend, it doesn't get fun until you can run three miles; I'm working on one right now so I've got a ways to go), but I made an improvement. I ran a minute faster than yesterday. A part of me wants to rationalize that that could just be a flaw and that tomorrow I might have an even worse time than the first day; but I'm trying to view it more as progress. I felt a sense of self-accomplishment. And though this accomplishment may be small, it is important. It is my first step towards reaching my goal.
A "ground view" of the trees in my back yard. Taking pictures of things that I feel are beautiful, or make me happy, is another way that I'm trying to improve upon myself. By choosing to see the good in every day, I can develop a more optimistic view of life. Hopefully, it will help me to not get so overwhelmed over everyday obstacles.
My hibiscus plant, which is currently loving the sporadic rain showers that seem to occur daily.
I guess my point is that when I do get engaged, and eventually married, I want to be a person who feels confident, independent, and like I am the best version of myself as an individual. Then, as a married couple, my husband and I can continue to grow together, and I will continue to improve, but without losing who I am on my own.
So for me, I don't see getting engaged in my near future. And I think that's okay. I have a lot of self-progress that I want to make, which I plan to work on it every day. After all, life has a way of working itself out. For now, I'm just going to enjoy it.
♥K
